Last year, while on a beautiful beach in Sunshine Coast, Australia, I had an experience that rocked me to my core.
It was very early in the morning, as the first glimpse of the sun cast soft pink tones over the water. I was with around four hundred people, practicing a walking meditation, as part of one of Dr Joe Dispenza’s meditation retreats.
I remember reaching a point of complete surrender in my meditation, and this is when it happened. I started to feel a charge of energy coming into my body, down through the crown of my head, into my throat, down into my heart. It was a tingling electric feeling, that continued to spread through my body, from my heart, into my arms, down into my torso, into my legs and feet. As this charge hit my legs, they started shaking involuntarily. I felt them shaking from the inside. It’s hard to describe this feeling using words. It was a voltage of energy that my body had never experienced before. My legs started shaking to such a degree that I felt like I was going to fall over. I had absolutely no control over my lower body at this point.
I suddenly burst into uncontrollable tears. My entire body-mind was letting go. It felt like time had collapsed at this point. Like I was suspended somewhere beyond time and space. I felt my body letting go of an incredible amount of emotion from the past. And as this bolt of energy moved through me, I felt what I can only describe as some kind of dense, dark matter falling away from my body. Huge amounts of dark matter, just falling away. This matter, I believe, was trauma from past experiences, not only from my life-time, but also past life-times, of my ancestors and beyond. It included the grief of my Father attempting suicide when I was eight, which cast a dark shadow in my life that prevented me from being able to receive love. It included every limiting belief that I had been carrying on my back for my entire life, many of these beliefs not my own, but acquired unconsciously from others. Everything that was not in alignment with this energy, just fell away.
And for a very brief moment, I felt my true nature. I felt my divinity and my connection to everything else. I felt ALL OF IT. And I realised that I AM ALL OF IT. And that IT IS ALL OF ME. That there is no separation. No distinction. No here and there. No you and me. No self and other. I felt everything as ONE.
All I remember coming out of this experience was a profound sense of deep peace within and around me. When I opened my eyes and stared out into the ocean, I felt that I was one with the ocean, as I looked around the beach, I saw myself in every other person. Everything appeared as “wave-like”, fundamentally connected. And I felt more real and “myself” than I had in a very long time.
This experience reminds me that I am not my body, or my beliefs, or my fears and past limitations. This experience reminds me that I AM, AS WE ALL ARE, part of this DIVINE ENERGY. And that it is our journey in this lifetime to overcome the obstacles that separate us.
This article is dedicated to my friend and teacher Dr Joe Dispenza.